What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
The term Highly Sensitive Person was coined by Dr. Eliane Aron who began studying the trait in 1991. Around that time more studies were being done around why some of the population exhibited traits of being shy, inhibited, or neurotic while others did not. Dr. Aron suspected that the labels that were being used to describe the differences in behavior and personality were not quite accurate. She felt that the traits were not negative or problematic, as the terms that were being used implied. Through her studies, she confirmed that there is a portion of the population that is different than the majority in the way that it responds to stimulation. As it turns out, 15-20% of the population is Highly Sensitive and it is not a deficiency or problem at all! A portion of highly sensitive individuals can be observed in other species such as mice, monkeys, and horses. Dr. Aron suggests that having some members who notice subtleties that are often missed is an advantage for the overall survival of a species. This is part of what being a highly sensitive person is about.
D.O.E.S.
Highly Sensitive People (HSP) take in stimulation differently than the rest of the population. To help clarify the differences between HSPs and non-HSPs, Dr. Elaine Aron coined the acronym DOES. It stands for depth of processing, overstimulation, emotional reactivity/empathy, and sensitive to subtleties. Depth of processing refers to the way HSPs observe and process information before acting. While everyone processes deeply at times, this is something that HSPs do constantly without intention and sometimes even without awareness. Overstimulation happens for HSPs more than for others due to taking in more stimulation and processing more thoroughly. Emotional reactivity refers to HSPs having stronger reactions to both positive and negative experiences. Empathy is something that everyone can exhibit, but HSPs tend to mirror the emotions of others more than other people. Lastly, sensitive to subtleties points to highly sensitive persons noticing things that others do not, and more importantly, processing details more carefully.
In a nutshell, HSPs are different from the majority of people in the way they take in and respond to stimulation. As the term itself suggests, highly sensitive persons are more likely to notice things that often get overlooked. While their senses are not more highly developed than anyone else, they do process what they take in more thoroughly. Noticing more and processing everything more than others has a few impacts. One is being more easily overstimulated. HSPs will reach the point of needing a break sooner than the general population because their system has been taking in and processing more when exposed to the same situation. HSPs also respond stronger emotionally to both positive and negative experiences and take in and mirror the emotions of others more.
HSPs in a Non-HSP World
As these experiences are only shared by 15-20% of the population, there is a lot of misunderstanding of what being sensitive means. People who do not have this trait often truly do not understand why HSPs in their lives are the way they are. For that matter, many HSPs do not understand why they are the way they are and spend a lot of energy trying to be “normal!” Highly Sensitive People can get labeled as “too sensitive,” shy, introverted, lazy, unsociable, and weird. They often feel pressured to survive and perform in situations and environments that are simply too much for them and get negative feedback when they cannot do as well as non-HSPS. The burden is usually placed on the more sensitive ones to “toughen up” or “deal with” things that negatively impact them, such as loud noises, crowded spaces, being observed by others during tasks, and being asked to do many things at once. The general attitude that highly sensitive persons receive is that there is something wrong with them when that could not be farther from the truth!
My Story
I first learned about Highly Sensitive Persons a few years ago. My colleagues, one of whom is HSP, suspected I might have the trait and encouraged me to look into it. They were spot on, I am a Highly Sensitive Person, I just did not know before. To be honest, I did not think much of this new information at first because I found it a bit overwhelming. I needed some time for this new information about myself to sink in. Whether this comes more from being an Enneagram 9 or being HSP, I am not sure, but I tend to withdraw and stick my head in the sand when things get to be too much. Over time, I began to see more clearly the ways this trait shows up for me. Seeing myself as a highly sensitive person helped me make sense of my own story and the way that I do things. It helped me have compassion for myself for being “different.” Some of my biggest pain points in life were largely the result of not knowing I am a highly sensitive person in a not-so-sensitive world. If I had learned about HSP much earlier in life I might have avoided a lot of pain.
What I am Learning Now
Now that I know I am a highly sensitive person I accept that I need to do things differently than other people around me might. I need extra time to wind down after busy days, being in new situations, or socializing. Some situations might leave me stimulated for so long that I get very little sleep that night. I also need time to ease into my day - I don’t hit the ground running. Having time to prepare for changes of any kind makes enduring them a lot easier. I understand now why the slightest change in temperature affects me so much, and why I cannot stand to be in crowded places. I used to get called grumpy after spending a few hours out shopping - now I realize just how overstimulated I was and do most of my shopping online.
I still get frustrated with my HSP trait from time to time. For example, I always forget an item or two when grocery shopping. Writing down a list of what I need is such a lifesaver for me, but I usually have some items that do not make it onto my list. Without fail, these items never make it into my grocery basket because I get overstimulated by the environment and the task at hand and don’t remember them. I have started to accept that if it is not on the list, it is not getting purchased, and I am trying hard to not beat myself up over that. Practicing self-compassion has helped me find ways to work with my trait instead of having it work against me. Each trip to the grocery store is a new chance for me to practice that skill. I also am learning to accept that I am overly sensitive to caffeine and that it is best for me to stay away from it completely; and that sometimes my body cannot fall asleep even when it is overly tired. These are aspects of being an HSP that I do not always love, but I am learning that it is a package deal.
Are You a Highly Sensitive Person?
Maybe you already know you are HSP, or maybe you are not sure yet. If you would like to explore more of what being a highly sensitive person means for you, I would love to help! Plus, you don’t have to worry about explaining it all to me or feeling “different” - I get it because I am an HSP too! If you would like to learn more about working together click the Start Today button above.
