How To Adjust to Change

Some people love changing up their day-to-day schedule. They even crave it. I know, crazy, right?! Something about the novelty of new experiences fills them with a sense of adventure. When they wake up knowing that the day ahead will be nothing like their typical day-to-day life they feel excited! But if you struggle with anxiety, are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), or have experienced trauma, changes in your daily schedule may not be your favorite thing in the world. In fact, you may dread having to face a day that is not your usual routine. You might do everything you can to avoid these sorts of changes, turning down trips with friends, putting off visiting family, or maybe even saying no to that job that requires frequent business travel. Maybe other people have picked up on this. Perhaps you’ve even been made fun of for not being able to “go with the flow” or “take it as it comes.” Other people in your life just don’t get how big of a deal it is when you have to step out of the comfort zone of your routine.

Same Feels Safe

When things stay the same you know what to expect. Having regularity in your schedule helps you feel grounded and safe in the world around you. Going to bed at night knowing that when you wake up in the morning you’ll be able to do all of your normal things and move through your day in a way that is familiar to you can give you a sense of control in an otherwise chaotic world. When you know what your day is going to look like, you know how to show up. No need to second or third-guess what you should wear, how entertaining you need to be to those around you, or even how much energy you will need to get through the day. You don’t need to question these things because you know just what to expect. Knowing what to expect helps you feel safe. Routine and sameness give comfort and security. To others, it may seem boring, but for you, it is the chance to breathe a little and maybe even let yourself relax from time to time. 

Why is Change so Hard?

If you struggle with anxiety or have experienced trauma you may not be able to allow yourself to relax very often. Both anxiety and trauma put your nervous system on higher alert, constantly scanning for danger. It is your body’s way of doing its most important job: keeping you alive! If you are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) your nervous system naturally takes in everything with a bit more nuance, or sensitivity, than others. Any kind of stimulus, whether is it the brightness of the lights in the room, the temperature of the air, how many people are in the room with you, what their body language and facial expressions are showing, and even how many different textures make up the outfit you are wearing - you are aware of all of it. This may or may not lead to feelings of anxiety, but it does lead to your body becoming overstimulated easily. 

For someone who is HSP, anxious, or has a history of trauma, relaxing may feel like a luxury. Your body is on edge throughout most of your day as it takes everything in. You may not even be fully aware of all that you are aware of. You might not know why you suddenly felt jumpy or uncomfortable, but your nervous system does. It is working hard all of the time, but when you face something new, especially something unknown, it is working on overdrive. Remember, its main job is to keep you alive. When you are in familiar territory that job is much easier than when everything, or even just some things, are new. That is why even changes that you are looking forward to can still feel exhausting.

Ways to Support Yourself Through Changes

The unfortunate reality is that change really is constant, as they say. Even when we do our best to avoid it, every day is not like the day before. For one reason or another, we will have to adjust our routine. Maybe daylight savings is forcing you to change your clock, yet again, or perhaps you have to move to a new apartment. Maybe your kids are going back to school or your gym changed the class schedule. Maybe you are finally taking that vacation that you have both been looking forward to and feeling slightly terrified about. Whatever the reason is, your schedule is different and your normal routine has flown out the window. So, what can you do to make the change a little easier?

Prepare Yourself:

If the change has not happened yet but you know it is coming, help yourself prepare ahead of time. Take some time to think through what the change will look like for you. If your office will be moving locations will you need to leave your house earlier in order to make it to work on time? Walk yourself step by step through the new change and see what it might be like. 

Don’t Change Everything:

Look for ways to keep some familiarity with your new experience. If you have to change the time you wake up, do what you can to stick with your morning routine. If you find yourself needing to face a new environment bring something comforting with you. Keep a certain item with you, such as a piece of jewelry or a worry stone in your pocket, so that when everything else feels new and different you can find comfort in that item being constant.

Find Familiarity:

We can easily become focused on the things we do not want and do now enjoy. If we are facing change we may find that the change is all we think about. Give yourself a break by changing your focus for a bit. See what you can find that feels familiar in spite of all the changes you are experiencing. Maybe you can even challenge yourself to find something good about the changes. 

Be Kind to Yourself:

Change is hard, and that is ok. Remember to be kind to yourself while you are in the process of adjusting. It will take some time before you will be comfortable with the changes, and that is alright. In fact, it may take you longer to adjust than others, and that is okay too. Know that you are doing the hard work of facing something new, something that your nervous system does not yet feel safe and secure with. Give yourself time to get used to the differences and show yourself grace along the way.

No matter what change you are going through, I hope you found this helpful! If you would like to better understand how anxiety, trauma, or being a Highly Sensitive Person is affecting your ability to handle change, I would love to help! Or if you are in need of extra support as you are adjusting to one of life’s many changes right now, please click here to get started. I will see you soon!